PRAYER

Lately I have been thinking a lot about prayer.  

Back when I was younger and I still believed God revolved around me and my life, I used to pray selfish prayers.  I would pray for silly things like front row parking at the grocery store or for my stretch marks to magically disappear.  And then I would pray those desperate prayers where I basically begged God for something that I believed I NEEDED.

I remember praying in high school for a relationship.  I told God that I didn't care if I got hurt, I just wanted this certain boy to like me. 

WOW, what a mistake that was!   Let me tell you, I never prayed like that again.  

Then somewhere along the way, sometime after India, right about the time I realized it's us that revolve and rotate around God, my prayers changed.  

I started thinking that God is God.  He does what He wants.  He works where He wants and how He wants.  My prayers can't change His mind or convince Him of anything.  

But unfortunately it turned out that after I eliminated the request portion of my prayer time, I didn't have much to say.  

I decided that if He wanted to provide Scott with a raise, then He would.  And if He wanted my skin to clear up and my hair to grow long and luxurious, then He would do just that.  I didn't need to make my requests known to Him...He's God, HE ALREADY KNOWS!  

The biggest dilemma was when friends would ask me to be praying for them.  How could I ask God to comfort someone else or provide them with a job if I didn't feel like I could ask Him for those things in my own life?  Most of the time I would tell my friends I was going to "be thinking" about them.

At church this month we are going over prayer.  I was advised to read Mark 11:20-25.  The first part talks about moving mountains but then it says...

That's why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you'll get God's everything. And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it's not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive—only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins." 

Now I'm still not sure why it's ok or necessary to pray for the small things like rain or raises or babies (small as in size).  

I'm not sure why God would even care about the details. 

But He does.  

Maybe He asks us to pray for all things so we can always be mindful that He is our Provider, our Comforter, our EVERYTHING.  Maybe I should pray for the small things to remind myself that I don't have as much control as I like to believe I do.  Or maybe it's because He just wants to hear from me because He loves me.

Makes sense to me.  I still have many more questions on prayer and what it means, how it works, and what it looks like.

But last night as I laid in bed listening to the thunder, I remembered my $125 water bill we rung up last month to keep our garden alive, and I prayed.

I prayed for RAIN!   

For those of you who don't live in Houston...it finally rained last night for the first time in months!